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Before I could even process her words, my phone began buzzing violently on the kitchen counter.
I looked at Betty. She gave me a slow, encouraging nod.
I swiped the screen and put the call on speakerphone.
Background noise echoed loudly behind him—shouting tourists, airport announcements, and the distinct, sharp voice of a resort manager.
“Valerie! Thank God you picked up!” Richard screamed, his breath coming in ragged, terrified gasps. “Something is completely wrong with the company cards! We just landed in Honolulu and tried to check into the Royal Hawaiian suite, but the card declined! Then I tried using my personal debit card, and the machine said the account was frozen due to suspected grand fraud!”
“Hello, Richard,” I said, my voice completely devoid of emotion. “How is the weather in Hawaii?”
I looked down at the crumpled note resting on the counter.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T?!” he roared. “Doris is having a panic attack, and Glenda is crying in the lobby! Fix this right now!”
“You see, Richard,” I replied, every word cut with surgical precision, “you left a note telling me that I’m the responsible one. And as the responsible chief financial officer of this company, I cannot authorize fraudulent corporate expenditures for an unauthorized vacation. Furthermore, I don’t have access to the funds anyway.”
“What… what do you mean you don’t have access?” Richard stammered, his tone dropping into a pathetic, trembling register.
Betty stepped closer to the phone, leaned down toward the microphone, and spoke with crystal-clear authority:
The line went dead silent. You could hear the distant ocean waves crashing through the speaker.
“I am on the phone, you ungrateful little thief,” Betty declared coldly, “to inform you that the private jet card you tried to charge twenty minutes ago was flagged directly by my wealth management team in Geneva. I have formally revoked your access to the family trust, filed a corporate embezzlement notice with the county prosecutor, and initiated an emergency eviction proceeding against your mother for her presence on my property.”
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